


Here

by jdjunkie



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, First Time, M/M, Season/Series 05, Summit/Last Stand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-21
Updated: 2012-08-21
Packaged: 2017-11-12 14:35:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/492255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdjunkie/pseuds/jdjunkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They’re still raw from the mission and the shock of what they’ve just done, and Jack has no idea when they’ll reach that part where tenderness is okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the JackDanielpromptfic comm at DW.
> 
> Fic inspired by SkaterGater's beautiful artwork, Fix You: http://jackdanielpromptfic.dreamwidth.org/58701.html

“I can’t believe we’re here.”

Daniel’s words, spoken quietly, break the silence that has enveloped them since their cries of completion were torn from them and carried away on the gentle night breeze.

Jack looks down at the man resting against his body, his head on Jack’s belly. They’re skin to skin, and it’s still not close enough. _Here_ is not Daniel’s apartment on the night after a hard mission that has left them both strung bowstring tight and dazed with feelings that have gone unspoken for so long. _Here_ is naked and stunned and so fucking scared for what the future holds but so sure that neither one can live without this anymore. They’ve lived without it for too long. In their confusion and denial, they've fucked up their friendship and almost fucked over the team. Whatever happens now, they’ll face it. Jack has never been so sure of anything. The calmness that comes with that surprises him, but it’s a good feeling. He cups Daniel’s face and tilts it upwards, just a little, signaling his intention to lean in and kiss him. For a second, he’s afraid Daniel will turn his head away; yes to the fucking, no to the feelings. They’re still raw from the mission and the shock of what they’ve just done, and Jack has no idea when they’ll reach that part where tenderness is okay. This is all new. Wonderfully, dizzingly, frighteningly new.

The lovemaking was strong and desperate, Jack in Daniel, fucking him hard. Claiming. Possessing.

Hurting.

Jack has always suspected it would be this way, those times when he’s allowed himself to fantasize about their first time. He’s fantasized gentleness too, but deep down he’s always thought their first time would be like this. There had been too many times when everything Out There became too much and words couldn’t come close to articulating what they were both feeling.

Like this mission.

_I nearly lost you to those fucking System Lords and their cruel ambitions and insane power plays._

_I couldn’t save her. Sarah. I failed. Again. I’m so fucking tired of failing. I’m so fucking tired._

“How did we get here, Jack?”

Jack eschews the obvious response to Daniel’s question ... _well, we fell through the front door of your apartment, yelled and swore some, ripped each other’s clothes off and fucked the terror away_ ... and fits his lips to Daniel’s and kisses him, slowly, deeply, thoroughly. It helps to melt some of the residual tension Jack can still feel in Daniel’s body.

Maybe Daniel is ready for tenderness after all. Jack is. Jack needs it like breathing. His desire for it is written in his DNA and reinforced at every level beyond that. Tenderness from Daniel will see him through anything.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Daniel says, blue eyes intense and searching Jack’s gaze for understanding. “I’ve wanted this since I first met you.”

Jack strokes his thumb across Daniel’s cheekbone. It’s hard to hear this, Daniel being so open, after so long of hiding feelings and having to let half-finished sentences, convoluted arguments and white-hot glances do their talking. Finally making love to each other has ripped away Daniel’s defenses. He’s vulnerable right now, achingly so. And he’s lost Sarah again and they both had to stand by while they lost Elliot. It’s too much. Too fucking much.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. There’s time for talking.” Jack presses a soft kiss to Daniel’s forehead. Daniel’s breath catches in his throat as he does so and, god, what that does to Jack’s heart. He’d always thought this moment would be intense, but this ...

“That’s the nicest way you’ve ever told me to shut up,” Daniel says, and then he huffs a soft, delighted, disbelieving laugh. It lightens the mood.

Wow. That they’re _here._

Jack laughs too and realizes the sound is verging on the edge of hysteria because he’s happy.

“I can think of lots of nice ways to shut you up,” Jack says eventually, letting his hand roam to Daniel’s chest. He rubs lazy, thoughtless circles across smooth skin. It’s like he’s always known Daniel’s body.

They lie in silence for a while. Daniel raises his arm and runs questing fingers over Jack’s forearm, brushing the hairs one way and then the other, watching himself do it, fascinated. Jack feels uncannily like an artefact under scientific scrutiny and wonders what hidden secrets Daniel will divine from the simple act of touching him.

“I want to know everything though. Eventually,” Jack clarifies. “Everything you’re willing to share.”

“I loved Sha’uri, Jack. I’ve always loved you but that doesn’t mean ...”

“I know.”

Daniel shifts slightly until he’s on his side. He looks closely at Jack and smiles at what he sees. “Yeah. You do. That’s important to me.”

Jack nods. He understands. Love is what it is and Daniel loves wholeheartedly and without condition. It’s part of what makes Jack love him and allows the universe to fuck Daniel over time and time again. Well. No more. Never again. Daniel is Jack’s to love and cherish from this moment on.

The breeze that is blowing in through the open balcony doors is chilled now and Jack shivers. “Wanna take this to the bedroom?” he asks, suddenly longing for sheets and blankets and Daniel's warm body spooned up against him.

“I don’t want to move. I’m afraid it isn’t real,” Daniel answers, rubbing at the goosebumps on Jack’s skin.

Jack kisses him again, brushing his lips lightly across Daniel’s, and he speaks, softly, pushing he words against Daniel’s mouth so he'll feel them. “It’s real, Daniel. We’re here.”

And here is right where they need to be.

 

ends


End file.
